Mix the Cake with Whoops of Jolly!

Mix the Cake with Whoops of Jolly!

Fa La La La La and more La La La La La’s!

 

By

Gyan C. A. Fernando

With illustrations by N Senthilkumaran

Sri Lankans are well known to have a sweet tooth, or rather whole sets of sweet teeth, and so it didn’t come as too much of a surprise to me to be offered all sorts of sweets on my return to the Old Republic.

Having lived too long elsewhere in the world I had lost my sweet tooth. The array of biscuits, puddings and cakes that confronted me, followed by the cups of tea with three sugars in them, set my teeth on edge!

What really intrigued me was that, although we were nowhere near Christmas, it was still May; there was plenty of Marzipan cemented Christmas cake floating about.

My three sisters are well-known experts on the subject of Xmas cake and even my loud-mouthed but lovely niece Samanmalee (“Sam”, 30+), whose culinary skills in the Rice ‘n’ Curry department are below par, can beat up some awfully sickly sweet Christmas cakes, the sort that gives you tooth decay at a range of fifty metres!

What chuffs me is that the majority of Sri Lankans are not Christians but Christmas cake does bring us all together. Isn’t that heart-warming? What harmony! Everybody gets together for the sake of Christmas! For the sake of Christmas cake!

No doubt Dentists love this state of affairs.

If we had Wings instead of Boarding Passes….

If we had Wings instead of Boarding Passes….

They will try anything on you at airports

By

Gyan C A Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

Yes they would! They are in control and most passengers are not. That is the basic problem.

In the good old early days of flying and of B.O.A.C Comet 4s, very few people could afford to fly. Only the ultra-rich could afford it. But these days even the hoi polloi get boarding passes and that is the next problem.

The Train Halt with No Name

The Train Halt with No Name

A Most Curiously Named Railway Halt in Sri Lanka 

or 

Train Halt No 1

 

by

Gyan C A Fernando

Cartoon by N. Senthilkumaran

Many crowded trains pass through this station daily on the busy Coast Line of Sri Lanka to and from the capital, Colombo. Of the thousands of passengers who pass this rail halt not many know how it got its curious name.

Not many trains stop here anyway.

MORE

Think Plastic or Swim

Think Plastic or Swim

 My Efforts to Counter Global Warming

By

 Gyan C A Fernando

With illustrations by N. Senthilkumaran

Drastic events need drastic action! That is what I always say when I’ve had a beer, or two. They have been sinking for years, not the beers; and no one has done anything for them except generate a lot of hot air in Geneva and in New York.

Unlike them, I am a Man of Action, a sort of a Superman or a Minor Deity!  You know what I mean, don’t you?  No?

Why Boys Love Trains and Girls Love Dolls

 

Why Boys Love Trains and Girls Love Dolls

Pseudo Scientific Research of the Zany Kind!

This article appeared in the Lanka Railway Digest (August 2012 issue)

Read it here:  LINK
 

Acalculia and I

 

Acalculia and I

I was never a calculating sort of person

By

Gyan C A Fernando

With illustrations by N.Senthilkumaran

Acalculia and I

Some of you out there, having just got up on a Sunday morning and having just glanced at but not really comprehended the main title of this article, are probably thinking that Acalculia is a young Eastern European, short-skirted, disco type tart that I once used to associate with.

Others, well-versed in Classic Greek Literature in their formative years and who have just had the advantage of an invigorating early morning cup of tea might be thinking, with smug complacency, that Acalculia must be one of those nasty Siren type girls from Greek Mythology. Well you know Medusa et al don’t you?

Can you all now get up and stand in the corner of the class!

You are all wrong! It is neither!

For most people it is quite easy-peasy to work out that the logarithm of whatever is something-or-the-other, just off the tops of their heads. For me, the complex mathematical formula of two plus two is quite easy, but anything else is a challenge.

Go Easy on the Confetti, Please!

Go Easy on the Confetti, Please!

By

Gyan C A Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

Life sometimes brings up pleasant little surprises!

Take this morning, for instance: I discovered that I could get married for just Rs30! Not that I want get married again, but isn’t that a pleasant little surprise?

Stamps and Philately

The Sticky World of Stamps and Philately

By

Gyan C A Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

The other day I was extolling the virtues of stamp collecting, in particular the aesthetics, the tranquil and genteel aspects of this hobby etc. for the benefit of a very young and impressionable son of a friend of mine, when my grown up niece Samanmalie, aka “Sam”, butted in. 

The Incas and QR Codes

 

The Incas and QR Codes

QR Code

Inca boss, Viracocha

Remember that we told you about this first!

There is now definite proof that the Incas invented QR codes. 

The Incas never had a conventional written language which led many Archaeologist types to conclude that the Incas were thick. 

My own research, that of re-reading Herge's Tintin books again and again, show that Viracocha, an Inca God-type, created QR codes after himself! (There is more)