The
Sticky World of Stamps and Philately
By
Gyan C A Fernando
Illustrated
by N. Senthilkumaran
The
other day I was extolling the virtues of stamp collecting, in particular the
aesthetics, the tranquil and genteel aspects of this hobby etc. for the benefit
of a very young and impressionable son of a friend of mine, when my grown up
niece Samanmalie, aka “Sam”, butted in.
I of
course like holding a discourse on any subject, at any time and at any place
and preferably without interruption or heckling from the audience.
Sam
is a rather attractive and nice girl (age 30 something) and features as “Numero
Uno” in my list of favourite nieces but has the drawback, or the advantage, of
having a big mouth, both metaphorically and literally.
“Uncle!”
she said in her usual authoritative and loud way and with her mouth stretching
from one ear to the other: “Stamp collecting is full of forgers, fakers,
profiteers, dealers, propagandists and corrupt governments!”
She had
a big vocabulary to go with her big mouth and as usual she was right. “How do
you know all that stuff Darling?” I asked patronizingly. She always has the
last word with me and I should have known that.
“There are loads and loads and loads of fake
stamps being offered on E-bay, Uncle! I do a lot of buying and selling on
E-bay. Not stamps, but I know what has been happening! You have heard of the
web and Google, haven’t you, Uncle?”
Ouch! That hurt!
Ouch! That hurt!
Once again, she was right. I conceded defeat. If
you do a standard Google search, you will find that what she said is true.
This
of course is not a recent phenomenon. As soon as the very first stamp in the
world, the “Penny Black” came off the presses on the 1st of May 1840,
the forgers got in on the act on the 2nd!
*****************
I
was introduced to the murky world of Philately at a very early stage of my
life. As usual it was old Dad who introduced me to it.
At
the time of the Second World War, Dad apparently had a substantial collection
of stamps worth shillions, if you were to believe him! He was good at adding a
thin layer of icing to the truth!
There
was a general bit of disruption in the country at that time because of the Japs
but in reality, mostly because of the Colonial Brits.
It
was during this time that his collection was stolen by an older cousin, by the
name of Jose Aiya, and on the very day that the Japs bombed Colombo. Dad never
forgave his cousin and regularly brought up the subject at family gatherings
and on one occasion nearly hit old Jose Aiya, even though by that time Jose
Aiya was rather senile.
Stamps
can bring out the baser instincts in humankind, as Sam correctly observed.
Stamps
can be worth a lot of money. Take for instance, the four penny SG 4 of Ceylon
issued between 1857 and 1859 and now nicknamed “Dull Rose”. This was the fourth
stamp issued in Ceylon. (The SG stands for Stanley Gibbons who amongst other things
publish a catalogue.) On the very rare
occasion that mint copies of this stamp come on to the market now, they fetch
over $500,000 each.
When
this stamp was first issued, my granddad who was then aged 27, did not have the
foresight to buy a couple of sheets of the stamp. If he had, all of us in the
family would now be wallowing in millions of US dollars. He hadn’t and we never
wallowed in millions of dollars.
With
that sort of money involved it is no wonder that the unsavoury elements are
attracted to the hobby. In my school days for example, by the simple process of
fixing a stamp upside down I managed to convince a classmate that it was an
“invert” and therefore worth a lot of money. He fell for it!
As
far as stamp forgeries go, there are loads of them which can even fool the
experts. Some forged stamps are now more valuable than the real McCoy.
There is still some fun left!
There
is still some fun left in the world of stamps. Take for instance propaganda
stamps.
Propaganda
stamps are nothing new. They were first produced by the British (No surprise
there!) during WW1 and used against Germany, Austria and Bavaria. During the
return match known as WW2, the Germans retaliated in kind but both the British
and the Americans were ready for this and remained one step ahead.
Propaganda
stamps literally fell out of the sky during air raids and little boys ran
around collecting them whilst avoiding bombs falling nearby. All these war
propaganda stamps were “official” in that they were printed with the approval
of the respective Governments.
Near Philatalo-Genocide!
In
some countries with unpopular dictatorial type governments, protests can ascend
(sic!) to a very crude level. Rather than apply spit on the back of the stamp,
the populace apply spit on the face of the stamp, which of course bears the
portrait of their leader. They then complain that the stamps don’t stick! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Things
took a nasty turn in August 1962 in an African Republic. Fed up with this sort
of crude protest, President N’gua Olumiyewa Nogua’balong of The Republic of Nogua’balong-goalong, a
small bit of dessert land in the middle of sub-Saharan Africa, ordered his
postal authorities to liberally apply a deadly plant poison, chemically known
as 1,2 di-abrinotox marzipan diethylamide, on the face of the stamps.
This
poison can easily be extracted from the Jequirity bean, a rather colourful red-and-black seed
of a plant known as Chashami-Khurosa Orientalis which grows in the tropics.
However,
instead of using the correct extract, the postal authorities used the extract
of the Sildanofionalis erecta plant which is not poisonous at
all. In fact it is an aphrodisiac.
Within
days, the whole populace descended into fun and games. Total depravity reigned
in the Republic.
People queued up at post offices to buy stamps just to lick
them. (Since this is a family newspaper, I shall refrain from giving further
details, but do use your imagination!)
The
President tried to flee the country but his plane crashed in mysterious
circumstances. It has been speculated that the pilots and stewardesses had been
licking stamps shortly before take-off.
Elizabeth and I
In
the recent outcry about the French LTTE stamps, and subsequently the British
LTTE ones, not many people realized that both La Poste of France and The Royal
Mail allow personalized “stamps” to be printed alongside genuine stamps. In
fact a lot of countries from Austria to the USA do allow this practice.
A few
years ago, when I was residing in Britain, I decided to make use of this
facility as offered by Royal Mail. I do have a very high opinion of myself and so
decided that a photograph of my noble features would look nice next to a stamp
portraying those of Elizabeth. Queen Elizabeth the Second, that is.
Royal
Mail obliged and I ended up with a hundred sheets of “Elizabeth and I” stamps.
I sent a few samples in envelopes marked “Valuable Material! Do Not Fold!” to
close friends, Philatelic Agents and to the philatelic press with options to
buy them at grossly inflated prices.
I
also sent a few to my favourite
niece, Sam. The first ones to bounce back were from Sam. She had fixed them on
to envelopes, defaced my picture by adding squinty eyes and a few strands of
hair on my bald head, and she had “cancelled” them with authentic looking cancellation
stamps with the wording “Nutty Land of
Gyan” and “Crazy Uncle’s Post Office”.
My
other more serious friends wrote back sympathetic letters, politely inquiring
after my mental health. The serious philatelic guys just sent terse “NO THANKS!” letters.
I
never let minor setbacks like this get me down.
Back
in Sri Lanka and browsing through the web the other day I found out that our
own Sri Lanka Philatelic Bureau offers the same service.
Try it for yourselves!
Their web site says:
Their web site says:
Personalized stamps are a wonderful way to celebrate
special occasions such as weddings, birthdays or to send greetings to friends
and loved ones.
We
produce two types of stamps and each stamp sheet contains 6 stamps of same
design. The minimum order for each personalized stamps design (sic!) is one
sheet.
So
far my e-mails to them have been unanswered which is rather strange. I had sent
them a picture of myself in a suit…, actually a monkey suit, and one of me in
an Indiana Jones hat and another one with a bottle of beer balanced on my head,
all taken at “special occasions such as weddings, birthdays etc…” as specified
by them on their website. I can’t understand their silence!
Actually
what I want is to design a stamp with a caricature of my niece Sam, her mouth
grotesquely distorted and riding on a donkey with similar oral features!
It is
definitely my turn to get back at her. I will get the stamps printed myself! I
might frank them with a “Little Big
Mouth, Oregon” postmark. That might shut her big mouth.
Revenge is sweet and I have the weapons: Stamps!
You
have been warned, sweetheart!
Copyright Gyan C A Fernando 2012
Published in the Sunday Times on the 20th of May, 2012
Copyright Gyan C A Fernando 2012
Published in the Sunday Times on the 20th of May, 2012
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