Mix the Cake with Whoops of Jolly!

Mix the Cake with Whoops of Jolly!

Fa La La La La and more La La La La La’s!

 

By

Gyan C. A. Fernando

With illustrations by N Senthilkumaran

Sri Lankans are well known to have a sweet tooth, or rather whole sets of sweet teeth, and so it didn’t come as too much of a surprise to me to be offered all sorts of sweets on my return to the Old Republic.

Having lived too long elsewhere in the world I had lost my sweet tooth. The array of biscuits, puddings and cakes that confronted me, followed by the cups of tea with three sugars in them, set my teeth on edge!

What really intrigued me was that, although we were nowhere near Christmas, it was still May; there was plenty of Marzipan cemented Christmas cake floating about.

My three sisters are well-known experts on the subject of Xmas cake and even my loud-mouthed but lovely niece Samanmalee (“Sam”, 30+), whose culinary skills in the Rice ‘n’ Curry department are below par, can beat up some awfully sickly sweet Christmas cakes, the sort that gives you tooth decay at a range of fifty metres!

What chuffs me is that the majority of Sri Lankans are not Christians but Christmas cake does bring us all together. Isn’t that heart-warming? What harmony! Everybody gets together for the sake of Christmas! For the sake of Christmas cake!

No doubt Dentists love this state of affairs.

If we had Wings instead of Boarding Passes….

If we had Wings instead of Boarding Passes….

They will try anything on you at airports

By

Gyan C A Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

Yes they would! They are in control and most passengers are not. That is the basic problem.

In the good old early days of flying and of B.O.A.C Comet 4s, very few people could afford to fly. Only the ultra-rich could afford it. But these days even the hoi polloi get boarding passes and that is the next problem.

Acalculia y yo

Acalculia y yo

Nunca fui una especie de cálculo de persona

Por

Gyan CA Fernando

Con ilustraciones de N.Senthilkumaran

Acalculia y yo

Algunos de ustedes por ahí, recién se levantó en un domingo por la mañana y que acaba miró, pero en realidad no comprendía el título de este artículo, probablemente están pensando que Acalculia es una joven de Europa del Este, de falda corta, tipo discoteca tarta que una vez utilizado para asociarse.

Otros, muy versado en la literatura griega clásica en sus años de formación y que sólo han tenido la ventaja de una vigorizante taza de la mañana de té podría estar pensando, con la complacencia presumida, que Acalculia debe ser uno de esos tipos Siren desagradables niñas de la mitología griega . Bueno, ya sabes Medusa y otros no?

¿Puede todo ahora levántate y ponte en la esquina de la clase!

Está todo mal! No es ni!

Para la mayoría de la gente es bastante fácil de peasy para saber que el logaritmo de cualquier cosa que sea algo-o-el-otro, justo al lado de la parte superior de sus cabezas. Para mí, la compleja fórmula matemática de dos más dos es bastante fácil, pero todo lo demás es un desafío.

My failed quest for immortality

My Failed Quest for Immortality

 

by

Gyan C. A. Fernando
Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

 

I suppose I was young and full of dreams at that time, not that much has changed in the dreams department since, but I am no longer young.

One of my ambitions in my early days in Medical School was to have an organ or a disease named after me, you know the sort of eponymous diseases and organs like the Hand-Schuller-Christian thingy and the Bartholin’s gland.

The Train Halt with No Name

The Train Halt with No Name

A Most Curiously Named Railway Halt in Sri Lanka 

or 

Train Halt No 1

 

by

Gyan C A Fernando

Cartoon by N. Senthilkumaran

Many crowded trains pass through this station daily on the busy Coast Line of Sri Lanka to and from the capital, Colombo. Of the thousands of passengers who pass this rail halt not many know how it got its curious name.

Not many trains stop here anyway.

MORE

Behold! The Comics Page!

Behold! The Comics Page!

By

Gyan C. A. Fernando.

With illustrations by N Senthilkumaran

This Sunday morning, as usual, I got up at the crack of dawn at 1030 hrs. and after the usual refreshing cup of tea I went straight into the Plus section of The Sunday Times and shock horror there were no cartoons!

Did that register with you? No?

I said that there were no cartoons! There were no cartoons at all! This was very definitely the start of a bad, bad day.

The Sportsman in me and other Beasts

The Sportsman in me and other Beasts

By

Gyan C A Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

“Success is not really important. Everyone loves success. Everyone wants to do things well. But we all know that people are really good at doing things badly. Failure is the thing that we are best at. This is the difference between people and animals and we must not think that failure is bad.”

Stephen Pile, the author of “The Book of Heroic Failures”

I was never good at sports or I was good at it. It is a matter of opinion.

 I achieved my first major and historical victory in the field of sports; a long, long time ago in August 1959, when I come last in the Sack Race at the Sports Meet day at my old school, cheered by all! 

Your Presents Will Be Appreciated!

Your Presents Will Be Appreciated!

By

Gyan C. A. Fernando

Illustrated by N. Senthilkumaran

There is many a slip….

There is no doubt that life in Sri Lanka revolves around Births, Weddings and Funerals. The main box office puller out of the three however, is weddings.

I think I have already expressed my cynical views about weddings, elsewhere, but I think I did forget to tell you about wedding invitations, or “invites” to use the Sri Lankan colloquial, which of course is the misuse of a verb as a noun.

What with so many nephews and nieces of marriageable age lurking around, I am now an expert on how to draft wedding invitations. My favourite niece Samanmalee (“Sam” 35+, loud-mouthed, still single) has provided us enough entertainment over the years by getting engaged many more times than I can care to remember!

If there is an impending wedding in our extended families, there always are, and invitations are to be drafted or proofread, my services are generally called for. That is as long as I solemnly promise not to introduce craziness into the invitations, ‘till death do us part. (there is more!)